I think the time has come for me to sound off on all you children here on Tumblr, stealing MY culture. If you were born in the early 80s, or mid 80s, you know what I’m talking about.
Let’s get some shit really fucking straight - most of you here on Tumblr were born in the 90s, and don’t know a damn thing about half the stuff you’re reblogging, posting and stealing from other people. You’re just hitting the re-blog button and typing, “OMG!”
OH EM GEE what motherfucker? Like you know shit about what you’re talking about? Because you don’t. If you were born in the early to mid 90s, you were too young to remember anything of consequence that happened. I know this, because I can do fucking math.
A few of your biggest offenses…
What the fuck do you know about Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis? Bothwere released in 1991. If you’re 14, 15, 16, or 17 - you weren’t even fucking alive when it came out. If you’re 18-21, you were too young to really appreciate the improvement it meant over the original Nintendo.
On that note, most of you were too young to really appreciate the original Playstation OR N64. The Playstation came out in 1995, and the N64 came out in 1996 (late ‘96 at that). So even if you were born in the early 90s, you wouldn’t have been old enough to really understand it. By the time you were old enough, it was 2000, and the Playstation 2 was out.
The Yak-Bak. I’ve seen numerous references to it lately. Look 90s kids - it was a shitty recorder. Us 80s kids know. But it was OUR shitty recorder. Quit trying to steal our fucking toys.
Babe, Hook, Toy Story, Milo & Otis, The Secret of Nimh, The Sandlot, A Goofy Movie, Good Burger… those movies belong to 80s kids. They are not yours to co-opt. When you’re my age, you’ll look back and remember how silly Hannah Montana was - but until you’re my age, back the fuck off my shit.
The Spice Girls were something that girls of MY generation listened to. Your older sisters might have gotten down to Sporty Spice, but YOU did not.
Tomagotchi / Gigapets. That was something WE had. You aren’t old enough to remember girls walking around with like 10 of those motherfuckers on ONE keychain.
AMAZINGLY baggy jeans. My friends and I all had JNCO’s or Lee Pipes. You 80s kids don’t know a damn thing about that.
Along the lines of baggy jeans… back in the early 90s, we wore overalls. I see you all posting pictures of folks back in the early 90s with all this colorful, neon nonsense, but you forget OVERALLS. That shows you didn’t really live it. You don’t know what the fuck you’re reblogging. I used to wear my overalls over one shoulder, leaving one strap undone. Whatchu know ‘bout that?
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You kids watch reruns. I watched the original episodes. You laugh at how silly his clothes are. We actually wore that shit, just so you know.
I’ve noticed you only try to adopt the cool shit. None of you fuckers are adopting all the “Nu-Metal” that spun out of the 90s. If you’re gonna steal some of it, steal all of it. And while people my age will claim they never liked Korn, Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, etc… of course they did. We all did. I had Limp Bizkit’s shit in my CD player. I had a few Korn albums. C’mon… we all did.
Remember Magic cards? Y’all need to try stealing that shit.I still know some people that think it’s cool. PLEASE, PLEASE steal Magic. It’s interfering with the sex lives of some old friends of mine.
I haven’t seen you fuckers one-up us yet on school shootings. Us 80s kids OWN school shootings. It was OUR generation that shot up Columbine, and it was OUR generation that shot up Virginia Tech. Now that you’ve got Call of Duty, you don’t need to actually shoot people I guess…
LA Gear light-up shoes. That was something 80s kids had. You don’t know shit about it.
I could go on forever… but here’s my point. Seriously… quit stealing OUR shit. You 90s kids have your own culture. It sucks, but at least it’s yours. I know my shit is cooler, but if you steal it, we’re gonna have some problems.
CaliforniaCornbread - an 80s kid
I just lost 12 IQ points reading this bullshit.
Absolute and utter crap. all of it.
First things, who the fuck are you to tell me how i spent my childhood? noone.
secondly i’m pretty sure you KNOW that most of this is absoloute horse bollocks. you’re telling me i wasn’t into spice girls? i dont have an older sister and i had all their tapes. you think i didn’t know what toy story was? i owned at least five toy story tshirts which i used to wear on a cycle. I still own all my replica characters from the disney store, and the VHS is downstairs amongst my many others. You’re telling me i didn’t own a first gen tamagotchi? REALLY?! you can ask my bloody mother on this one. i had at least fifteen of those fuckers before i was ten.
i know you’re only saying this for effect now but i feel i need to clarify. i fucking love nu metal so you can shut the hell up. you’re obviously some selfabsorbed douche. even if people did like stuff from before they were born, where is the problem in that? i listen to loads of music that my parents have introduced to me, eg. Adam and the ants, the sex pistols, the clash, siouxsie and the banshees, orange juice, stiff little fingers, billy bragg. and my parents are okay with me liking that because they’re amazing artists who deserve to be appreciated, not buried in a vault because they’re “before my time”.
theres so much more i could say, but im not gonna bother because it’s quite frankly a waste of time. get some brains, knobend.
Ho, ho, hold me tight I can’t believe you’re here tonight Girl, I think the world of you You’re as pretty as the sky is blue And if you feel the same for me, Meet me by the Christmas tree I’ll pick you up in Santa’s sleigh And we’ll be laughing all the way
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people—whether they are employed or not.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts—your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Radiation cause interesting mutations—not to your future children, but to you, right then and there.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
During all police investigations. it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
Most dogs are immortal.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off—even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
Kitchens don’t have light switches.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
I love you dearly.
Not only are you witty and funny but you have awesome hair and are lovely at all times. You were the first to tweet me when I was having a slight mental break down on Twitter and although I didn’t indulge you with details on what was going on you still gave me a message that you hoped I was okay. Also, your loveliness is simply radiating and you make me smile even when I feel like crap. I’m glad that we have become friends and I think that we should chit chat on zi Skypes because Twitter and Failybooth hardly are enough to maintain a friendship. Thank you for your constant amazingnessness and I love you always!
- ^_^ <3 :) :D
Nawwwh :3 You’re so lovely. This made me smile lots ^_^ I love you too Jalyn <3
Ummm..give me a few minutess to think of a question:P …(~Slightly copying one below) Who are you friends at work / college / home, tell me about them and why you are good friends with them :)
Hi! :D Umm… there are quite a lot of people that I would consider friends and I’m friends with them for the same reason: they’re funny and good to have a conversation with :) Sorry this is kind of a failure answer
I really should stop using so many smilies. It gives away EVERYTHING!!!! D: But I just can’t help it! I have to express my emotions with anatomically incorrect faces! ^_^
I LIKE IT! And I’d probably be able to tell if it was you anyway ;D
Unanimously Good and Hot? Oh dear lord I’m so glad to have you as a friend ^_^ Clever friends make life good <3 by SimplyJalyn
Lol who keeps writing all those song lyrics? <3 that girl/guy
Anyway Dom, ummm.. who’s your idol?
who’s your first love ?
who’s your best friend ?
My idol? Hmm… without thinking, I said no one. But, as I was typing that I thought of someone. It’s no one famous, it’s my grandad. He was a doctor in Sri Lanka and was a truly amazing man. If I could be half the man he was, I’d be happy.
My first love? I don’t think I’ve fallen in love with anyone except Eevee, so it’s her :)
My best friend would be Simon, he is rather awesome ^_^ I distinctly remember a train ride on the way back from Birmingham that makes me laugh just thinking about it. Ah, goodtimes
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But, I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now.
But god does it feel so good,
Cause I got him where I want him right now.
And if you could then you know you would.
Cause god it just feels so,
It just feels so good.
Hahaha, sorry, just thought I would post this because they’re fucking awesome :D
so here it is merry christmas
everybodies having fun
look to the future now
it’s only just begun
I Feel all nice and Christmasy:)
I hear the drums echoing tonight, but she only hears the whispers of some quiet conversation, she’s coming in 12:30 flight, the moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me toward salvation, I stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies, he turned to me as if to say, “Hurry boy it’s waiting there for you!” *epic drums* GONNA TAKE ME A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOU, THERE’S NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE COULD EVER SO, I GUESS THE RAIN’S DOWN IN AFRICA, GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO DO THE THINGS WE NEVER HADDDDDD